I Don’t Want Kids

This blog post was inspired by good ole buzzfeed. I was reading this article (linked below, but copy and pasted for your reading pleasure) and just had SO many thoughts. I will preference this by saying, I do have certain kids I really do love – mostly because I really love their parents.


1. “You’ll change your mind.”

The more you tell me that I will change my mind, the more likely I am to prove to you that I am not going to change my mind. That’s just how I work.

2. “Imagine if your parents didn’t want you?”

They didn’t. But surprise, Ma and Pa! Your precious angel favorite child came anyway. But they didn’t want any kids, so HA!

^I don’t know if that’s more of a joke on me or them.

3. “There’s still time.”

Honestly, all I can do is roll my eyes. There’s also still time for me to build a flourishing business, travel the world, buy a home in Texas, adopt all the kittens, or anything else!

4. “Kids give meaning to life.”

My life has a lot of meaning without kids. I think even a lot of parents would agree that their life had meaning before children. Maybe children changed their meaning of life (and maybe some really did find their meaning with children, which is cool) – but life is most definitely not meaningless without kids.

Silence And Money

5. “Having children is the BEST decision I ever made.”

CONGRATS! Seriously, that’s amazing. And I truly don’t doubt you. But don’t push this on people who seriously don’t want children. Just because it was your best decision, does not mean it will be for other people. Parenthood is not for everyone.

6. “Don’t you want someone to carry your family lineage?”

My other siblings are taking care of that business.

7. “I didn’t know who I was until I had kids.”

You have more issues than I originally thought then.

Maybe you rediscovered yourself or whatever; however, I think it’s nice to know who you are before you have kids.

8. “Hasn’t your biological clock started ticking?”

Image result for biological clock memes

9. “You don’t have much time left, don’t wait too long!”

Thank you for the reminder that I am getting old.

10. “I wish I could sleep in, I just can’t now that I’m a parent!!!”

I do not feel bad for you.

11. “You’d be such a great parent, though!”

Pretty sure 100% of people have never said that to me. Cause let’s be honest… have you talked to me before? I have a babysitter when I babysit my nephew.

Have you heard the story of when I tried babysitting for a summer? The 12-year-old child drank vodka under my watch. Oops. Seriously, I should hit her up soon for happy hour.

Anyway, my reputation precedes me.

12. “Who is going to take care of you when you’re older?”

The nursing home. I hear some crazy, fun crap goes down there. Bingo nights? Count me in. Scrabble? Yes, please. I want to be in the most competitive nursing home. That sounds way better than your kid freaking out every time you poop on their carpet. That’s just expected at a nursing home.

Image result for nursing home memes

13. “You’re missing out on the best part of life!!!!!!”


14. “I said the same thing when I was your age, you’ll get over it.”

You’ll get over it when I push you off a bridge.

I actually really hate when people say “you’ll get over it” about anything. It makes me never ever want to get over it.

15. “Being a parent will teach you to be less selfish.”

Probably not. Once again, have you met me?

Birthday Candles

16. “I found an article that might change your mind.”

I won’t read it.

17. “The bible says women should have children.”

Image result for getting real memes

Ironic that I just used a “shit” meme as we talk about the Bible. But seriously, let’s get to business.

I have three arguments:

  • The Bible actually calls for celibacy and to remain unmarried. However, if you cannot control your sexual urges, to go ahead and get married. So Grandma, why couldn’t you control your sex drive and had to get married to avoid burning with passion, instead of being focused on God, like the Bible says?

*I’m just using grandma as a very random name, my grandma is awesome! And pretty sure she’s supportive of whatever. Although it’s been awhile since we’ve talked about that, but she has enough grand kids and great grand kids to keep up with.

  • Biblical point two – Galatians 4:27

New International Version
For it is written: “Be glad, barren woman, you who never bore a child; shout for joy and cry aloud, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband.”

I”m not entirely sure what this means, as I may have taken it out of context, but still worth citing.

  • On a more personal level, do you think God would want you to bring an unwanted child into the world? If God has a child in mind for you, I’m sure he’ll find a way into your life. If you don’t want a child, maybe that’s because there are other things God wants you to devote your energy to. Forcing yourself to want kids because it feels normal or you think it’s “sinning” not to have them is not going to do your future children any favors.

I’m open to arguments, as long as you are open to a close-minded person on this topic. I do not feel like I am sinning by not having children.

18. “Being a mother is a woman’s purpose.”

A women’s purpose is whatever she wants her purpose to be. This is so twisted now, we do not live back in the 1800’s. If the woman wants to be the bread winner? Bring home all the dang bread, baby. If you want your purpose to be making sandwiches, MAKE THE MOST DELICIOUS SANDWICH IN THE WORLD. But your purpose is whatever the heck you want it to be.

Can't Have Kids

19. “Your body was biologically made for this.”

Ohhhhhhhh no freaking way?! I had no idea that the reason I flow like a red river every month was because I was biologically made for this? And I do understand there’s a reason I feel like I’m being stabbed repeatedly in the ovaries every month. You do not have to remind me of this, mother nature does every. single. month.

Image result for period memes

20. “What does your significant other think about that?”

We float in the same boat, so suck on that.

21. “You don’t want to make your partner miss out on parenthood do you?”

Does a cat count?

22. “Maybe if you’re around children more you’ll see what’s so great about having them.”

Quite the contrary, my dear. Honestly, do parents look through a rose-colored window with sound proof walls? Your kid is an actual living and breathing terror. Why in the world do you think after being around your kid, I would want one? You have actually lost your mind, but maybe that’s cause you never sleep. WHO ACTUALLY SAYS THIS?!

23. “Some people just aren’t meant to be parents, I guess.”

The first thoughtful thing you’ve said.

24. “You’ll regret it.”

Maybe, but I would rather regret not having a kid then regret having one.



25. When you meet the right person, you’ll want to have kids.

Or maybe the right person won’t want to have kids too. DING DING DING, we have a winner.

Image result for childfree meme


Actually laughed out loud at that one!^^

And I honestly don’t mind if people say this stuff to me, just be ready for a very sarcastic response back.


Link to buzzfeed article that inspired this post:


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